Men claim that the most important need they have in a relationship is sexual fulfillment. Having said that I can already imagine a subset of the female population rolling their eyes at thatpronouncement and wondering why men so obsessed with it. The argument that ensues is that sex isn’t a need. No man dies from sexual deprivation, right? Whenever I get this kind of response, I point out the most important needs that women have from the same list. You could counter that no woman has ever died from lack of affection, conversation, or honesty and openness either. (See my hopefully humorous vignette on this.) Arguing over whose needs are real and legitimate and whose are not is counterproductive if the goal of the couple is to find happiness by meeting each other’s needs. His needs are not hers and hers are not his. Men and women are wired differently. It is a fact that needs to be accepted rather than debated.
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